People Pleasing

When we are people pleasing, we are prioritizing everyone in our environment, excluding ourselves. We are in place of being so focused on everyone else, that we don’t take care of ourselves. People pleasing is physically and emotionally draining. When we go through life so externally focused, without pause to check inward with body and mind, we don’t notice the ways in which we need our time and resources, so we can show up meaningfully for ourselves.

To take good care of our body and mind we need to slow down enough to recognize our own needs, wants, and feelings. My body is telling me it needs rest, I’m feeling stressed and need to breathe, these are important messages from body and mind for us to hear, be with, and respond to. When you know what you are feeling and what you need you can take proactive steps to take care of yourself. In order to be emotionally present and available with someone else in relationship, we need to first care for ourselves in a way that is nourishing.  

It is helpful to note the fawn response, which includes appeasing to other people and self-sacrifice. Fawn is a survival response of complying with another person, or pleasing and appeasing to stay physically or psychologically safe. Fawn is a strategy to create safety. While people pleasing is not the same as fawn response used for survival and safety, using either strategy can be taxing or overwhelming. Often times people pleasing results in you neglecting your own needs, wants, and feelings. If you are struggling with taking care of yourself or people pleasing, therapy is a safe space to explore yourself and your relationships. Hit the start free consultation button and we can set up a time to talk.